This was told to me by my hairdresser several years ago. She witnessed how much I had changed physically after getting married. Why is that? Was it because I had gotten too comfortable and lost my focus a bit? Perhaps. What had I done wrong to end up almost six sizes outside of my average, comfortable range?
Well, it wasn’t rocket science. I realized what I had done: I stopped being active. I was too busy trying to figure out the dos and don’ts of married life that I stopped focusing on me. I was swimming in a sea of love and all I wanted to do was nest, which was completely normal. I was learning about cooking and caring for a home and husband. I was very happy and too preoccupied to exercise. Needless to say, I wanted to start my marriage off right and didn’t want to neglect my hubby by not paying him any attention. Furthermore, I didn’t want to be apart from him. We were like peas and carrots. Spending hours at the gym? No way, I couldn’t fathom it.
Another thing I did wrong was always eating what he ate. Because we were practically the same person, I ate whatever he ate…portion size and all. Had I gone mad? Yes. That’s why I had gained nearly thirty pounds. I was totally wrong about so many things so I changed my thought process and here’s what I did.
The first two weeks were difficult but I was committed to exercising every day. I’m not much of a gym rat so I would exercise at home, after work. At first, I felt uncomfortable with him watching me jump up and down, performing all sorts of funny moves (well, I guess the moves weren’t funny, I just looked funny doing them), but then I got use to it and forgot he was there. Later, he confessed that he enjoyed it…A LOT. I was committed to walking as much as possible and always taking the stairs. Still, on days that I felt like being sluggish and watching TV instead of exercising, I would watch TV; but I would exercise vigorously during each commercial break for 3 minutes or so. I would always find a reason to move or be active, even just by cleaning up our place. This meant less snuggle time with my honey. However, I made it up with “sexercising.” Yes, I would put in my best effort in the bedroom making sure to do the most work to burn the maximum amount of calories.
Speaking of calories, I always counted them. This was the single best thing I could have done. I was constantly researching food recipes and ingredients. It helped me to make better decisions on what foods to eat and how to prepare them. This meant not eating the same meals as hubby, since he’s such a meat and potatoes kind of guy, and sometimes we didn’t even eat at the same time either (because some days I was on a schedule.) I had to completely unfasten myself from him to focus on me. In the long run, I knew that it was better for our marriage because when the wife is happy with herself, the whole house is happy, too. At work, I didn’t participate in office potlucks and the like. Sounds anti-social? I didn’t care. Seeing food float around the office all day can be a disastrous trap. Therefore, I just honed in on my office work.
I managed to get my body back in no time at all. Thank goodness. It took a lot of work. Fast forward- now years later, post-baby, I’m back to where I once was. I’m not overweight but I am out of shape. I have not been focusing on myself at all. Rather I’ve been wanting to spend all of my time with my little one…which is typical of new mommies. So once again, I must do the unthinkable- unlatch myself. However, this time it will be much harder to separate from someone so adorable and cuddly, even for a couple of hours. I will try and let you know how I do.
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